A bit sad post, sorry

I've been meditating about my life in future. Sometimes it's really useless, cause we just should to live and enjoy. But my problem is that I think a lot. About everything what I do. I appraise my actions
constantly, hourly, always. I evaluate what people think about me, what I make, create, how I work, how I'm dressed. Everything. It's real nigtmare for me. It have stand true paranoia. It's relly deprives me of joy, doesn't allow me to relax and create. It stops my personal development. If my memory serves me right I heard this problem arises from people who fixated on himself so much. I think so. And I so tired of this.
Now I'm trying to fight this problem and hope that I'll win and defeat it.
Wish me good luck!